What people are saying about “Those Who Remain: Remembrance and Reunion After War”


“Recently finished your book and I really enjoyed it… You captured the tone in our country in relation to the military and the war. Mostly…I felt like had met Dave…what a wonderful man he was. He lives on in your writing! “ Cindy Palmer


“I just had the pleasure of finishing your book… I thoroughly enjoyed it and just want to offer my congratulations to you on this great work. I was deeply moved by your story, which stirred up many memories of my own from the mid-late 60s. The Vietnam War was such a terrible event in the history of our country, and it’s so sad to think that Dave and thousands of others made the ultimate sacrifice in this war that couldn’t be won…I wish I had known Dave.” Paul Nunes, Chairman, Eastern Connecticut Community Foundation.


“Congratulations on delivering such a powerful personal tribute to your evolving understanding of grief and loss, love and war. Brave and bold! When any of us experiences the drowning sensation of profound grief, it returns with alarming frequency and force, like a rip tide. With your example of determination, time and perspective, you’ve given us all a bit of optimism about moving on with our lives. I share many elements of your early life: the protective cocoon of a traditional Connecticut Yankee family,  frequent college weekends at the Thayer Hotel, an early marriage to a heroic super star, dislocation from all that was familiar, and a sudden end to the dream. My hat’s off to you …” Alice Fitzpatrick, former President, Eastern Connecticut Community Foundation

“I just finished your book and absolutely loved it. I couldn’t put it down…You are a wonderful writer!… I underlined a lot of meaningful quotes [that] inspired me.” Marcia Benoit Harriman, Freelance Editor


“Every page I read was read thru tears… Along with chuckles at times… Your words portrayed the depth of emotion and all you have survived with grace and fortitude! Marilyn McShane Levine, Teacher


“A lovely book written by a lovely woman. My younger son, who joined the Army right out high school, served in Vietnam and survived. I know extremely little about his experience, but that he struggled to recover from it and

he is still a stranger to me… I confess a general ignorance of that war …I was too involved in personal problems

to be acutely aware. Your book inspired me to reconsider those years -mine, and his. Thank you.” Denise Shafner


“…The subject [of this book] is so intimate – I  feel very privileged and moved to be invited to share so much privacy, tragedy and love. Your book is a beautiful homage to Dave and to «those who remain». Warm congratulations to you, Ruth, for so skillfully and courageously writing your poignant love story, which despite the drama and tragedy, also includes a dash of subtle humor.” Zoe Schudel, (Switzerland)


“Your book does so much and I’m so impressed with your skill… You embedded a great structure to keep the reader engaged.  You would hint at coming event or understanding without revealing it and by the time it was finally realized another had been dropped.  The technique was like following waves.  One would ebb while the other was building and getting ready to break…There were moments in the book that were absolutely lyrical and all of it was very well written.  The most moving part for me was when you learned about Dave’s death.  I was right there with you.  I had grown to love him too.  You gave me the time to do that along with the necessary richness of detail.  Your tale is worthy of telling and I loved the Elie Wiesel quote about God loving stories and your comment that that means each of our stories.  We do all have stories to tell but few could tell them as well as you did. “ Claire Matthews, former Director, Mystic Art Center


“I was so emotionally moved by [your book].  I just finished [it] while on my flight back from London. From the bottom of my heart I loved it.  I am not much older than you were when you were married to David so I was able to really understand and connect to the part of young adult life and being so madly in love. And the part [about] the war was so educating.  I might not be the typical demographic for the book, but from my perspective it was like reading the best personal history book ever!  You are incredibly brave to write this book, very talented and inspiring. Congrats!!” Lyndsy Fonseca, Actress


“I have just finished reading your book and, quite frankly, am at a loss for words and find myself wondering what in world I can say to you which might, somehow, express my feelings and not seem trivial… I was very deeply involved in the war protests of the ’60’s and was struck and affected by this book. Not to be too mushy, I somehow feel that my life will be better for having read it.  With regard to your writing skill and style, impeccable prose and, despite the immensity of your terrible and tragic saga, an absolute pleasure to read.  I found myself rereading sentences and passages just for the experience. I hope many people will read and gain from your book and, in fact, believe it should be required reading for anyone studying the convoluted and tragic history of the Viet Nam era.” Charles Perini, Artist


“I loved the book… You are such a good writer. I am impressed with your ability to depict events in ways that are both sparse and still complete in evoking thoughts and feelings. Even emotion-laden experiences are described in a straightforward manner, without excessive sentimentality and still make clear the weight each carries. Your humor is present throughout in faint light touches, reminding the reader that irony and even comedy may pop up in unexpected places.” Ilana Reisz, PhD, Education Consultant


“I have just finished with your awesome literary work. I cannot tell you how proud I am of your ability to capture, not only your life with Cpt Crocker, but of what he meant to so many of us who still walk the earth today because of his caring for us. “Don’t push the river, it flows itself”  says it all.  I stand in humble awe at all you were then and what you have become today. You are truly “DEEDS NOT WORDS”  Congratulations again…hoping my tears both inside and out slow down over the next few days.” LTC Lon Oakley, retired, U.S. Army, President, 22nd Infantry Regiment Society



“I just finished your book and wanted to tell you how deeply moved I have been left.  I finished the final pages with tears in my eyes as members of Dave’s troop shared their love and respect for their honorable and fearless leader.  The book leaves me with an equal amount of love and respect for you — for the wide-eyed, courageous, innocent young woman who became a war widow forty-five years ago and for the woman you have become.  With great courage you have written a book for all who have needlessly lost “loves” in war and for all struggling to recover their senses after shocking loss. It has left me wanting to understand more about the time surrounding the Vietnam War and looking to understand to a greater degree what it means to be part of the military machine (either willingly or unwillingly). I was also struck by the things I have in common with you.

I find it so humbling to hold another person’s story close to heart — if only for a little while — and it has been an honor to hold yours for these last days.” Sharon Waters, Minister


“Thank you so much for the book. I have never been much of a reader but was so interested in your book that I read it in two days. It was difficult for me to read at times due to the tears that would appear in my eyes. For the past forty-five years I have tried to find closure with all my fellow brothers that were KIA [killed in action] in Vietnam. I have had some difficult times handling my emotions when it came to my thoughts of those years. Reading your book has given me closure with the death of Cpt. Crocker. He will never be completely out of my thoughts but the thoughts will be more soothing. My wife read your book and she also enjoyed it…I think it helped her to understand a little bit better some of the difficulty I have had coping with those events that happened so long ago. Thank you. Charles “Butch” Jones, Veteran, 2/22nd Infantry, Vietnam



“This is a poignant love story that covered many years…The description of key moments are candid and vivid…One can easily share her thoughtful recollections. Her reflections in a military museum are interesting and revealing. The book has political and philosophical comments as well about the Vietnam War. Many apt quotes also embellish the bittersweet power of her memories as they add to a telling tapestry of emotion. Black and white photos add a pictorial dimension. The title/subtitle/cover design are very strong.” Judge, 22nd Annual Writer’s Digest Book Awards



“In this unforgettable book, Ruth Crocker describes an extensive and beautiful exploration of the love of two exceptional people, of sudden widowhood, of military life, of war, and of wisdom gained during her life’s journey. Her remarkable memoir simply spills over with uncommon grace and insight.” Reviewed by Mary Jo Doig for Story Circle Book Reviews www.storycirclebookreviews.org